Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The feeling are messing with the penis
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
