Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize