Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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