I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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