There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
