When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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