Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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