I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
