your room smells of hookers.
And success
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
