420 ftw
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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