Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
