Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
