Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize