Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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