Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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