Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize