Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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