BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
