Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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