i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
