she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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