Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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