Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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