Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
