Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
