i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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