I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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