my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
