a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
