we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I had to cum in my sink.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
