I only kidnapped one of them. chill
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
