Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
