My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
