i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
