I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
