i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
