went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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