i will never coherently bang her
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
