Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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