Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
