you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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