and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
