im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
