babies were throwing up all over the place
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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