you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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