I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
