i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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