sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
