i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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