so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
