She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
