Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
