You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
