Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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