I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
