He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
