? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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