Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
