hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
